1) I’m assuming you’ve been going to Michigan virtually every summer for your entire life. There’s something about it that sucks us in. What is it for you?
Well, for starters funny story about the word “assume,” this cop told me this once in Mariemont, “Boy, all that does is make an ass out of you and me.” It was weeks before I figured out what he was talking about. Yes, I have gone to Michigan a lot. So much so, that I’m probably more native than most of the people in Traverse City. What’s in it for me? Anonymity, serenity, simplicity and infinite possibilities everyday. I’m really not sure why I don’t live there.
2) What is your favorite smell and why?
Magnolia flowers. Why? Smell one right after it rains.
3) If you could read only one story for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Vonnegut’s “Long Walk to Forever.” It’s in Welcome to the Monkey House.
They also made it into a movie, but the casting and lighting are better in my head. I just found it. I didn’t watch it.
4) What author has influenced the way you write more than any other?
If I had to pick, and you’re making me, it’d be Hemmingway. Why? This is not going to be a big surprise to anyone, because he gets to the point. I know people say it’s just typing, but fuck those people. I wish I could write like Nabokov or Capote. Those guys make everyone else seem bush-league. Lolita is stupid good. And Capote’s short stories are magical.
5) Invent a word.
6) Of all the cities you’ve been to, which did you connect with more than any other? Why?
Tokyo. I’ve been a lot of places, but that place, wow. It’s like you’re a lab rat that can get as much cocaine as you’d like. It’s infinite. You’re also completely illiterate which is a cool feeling. Everything is a puzzle. Taking a crap there is a puzzle.
7) What was the dumbest thing you did when you were a kid?
Threw a boulder through some guy’s car window while he was driving really fast. I was four. I was with my best friend. He might have thrown it. We’re not sure. We got away, but ultimately he found our parents. I think we were just trying to throw a rock across the street.
8) Write a headline for yourself.
New and Improved!*
*Limit one per customer.